Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences. However, breaking up doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship completely. There is still a way for you to remain on good terms with them, even becoming friends. What matters is you know how to handle it and talk to them. One way you can maintain communication is by writing to them.
Letter writing can reduce the discomfort you feel compared to meeting face to face. It allows you to capture your feelings perfectly. But writing the perfect letter can be difficult, so to help you we have listed some of the best advice you can follow when writing to your ex-partner.
Explain Your Goal and Intention
Reconnecting with an ex-partner can be an awkward experience at first, especially if neither of you knows what to say. One way to fix things is by explaining your goals and intentions of contacting them. Whether it’s to maintain a friendship, apologize, or try to get closure, you should know what you want and let them know what it is.
This gives you both something to talk about as your ex-partner understands whats expected of them and has a topic of conversation. It allows them to say what they think about the topic and build from there. Hopefully, this will allow you two to communicate properly and address all the issues you have.
Keep Things Civil
When there is a breakup, there is also bound to be hurt feelings from both sides. These can resurface in the conversation if you are not careful, so always try to be civilized when writing the letter, especially if you are trying to maintain a relationship.
If you feel like you were wronged, don’t be afraid to let them know but also don’t resort to insulting or cursing them in the letter. At the same time, try to listen to what they say and see if they also have hurt feelings on their chest. Letter-writing provides an opportunity for you two to get all that baggage out there and finally deal with it.
Mind Boundaries
One of the biggest stumbling blocks to talking with your ex is the lingering discomfort and awkwardness. The last thing you want to do is add to that by ignoring their boundaries. Regardless of your previous relationship, you might not be as close as you once were so when either of you set boundaries, it is best to keep them.
That could be something you talked about from the beginning. If you want to keep a relationship, the two of you should agree on what is and isn’t off-limits to make things easier.
Keep Things Short
For the first few letters, it’s better to keep the letters short and to the point. This should be where you explain your intention and what you hope to get out of the relationship, you don’t want that getting lost if you have a long letter.
It’s easy to go off-topic and start rambling about stuff that isn’t important as a way to reduce awkwardness, but this also increases the chance of you saying something that might offend or confuse them. However, this conversation should be an opportunity for both of you to get your feelings out there, so you need to give them a chance to say their peace as well.
All of these are great ways to build the context of your letter, but if you are looking to improve its appearance, then you should try using our vintage letter function to make it seem more memorable. If you want to see the different styles, you can check them out here.
