Hi Babe,

I’ve tried on many occasions to figure out how to say what i’ll be saying in this letter. I haven’t slept much and I realize I have so much to say to you. I never imagined that I’d love you the way that I love you now. The worry I cary when I don’t hear from you is the biggest reminder of how much I love you.For the last year, I’ve told myself that I’d do anything for you. I’ve put my heart in your hands hoping that you will love me the same way that I love you. I know that I’ve hurt you. Your pain is rooted in actions that I can’t go back and undo. You said that everyday you wake up and make the choice to be with me. I appreciate you for continuing to choose me. I’ve given you many apologies. Some of which I hope you truly heard and understood. As your girlfriend I’ve failed to uphold the standard. Since May, I’ve truly pushed myself to maintain the boundaries that you set.I apologize for all the tears you’ve seen me cry as I realize they make you feel like you can’t share your thoughts with me. I want this relationship to be a safe space for conversation. I want you to be able to recognize when my tears are coming from being overwhelmed or just because I can’t vocalize my emotions. It’s not fair that you are constantly on the receiving end of my battle. I will no longer put you in that position and I’m sorry for ever doing that.You are the greatest source of my happiness. I hate going home knowing I won’t be laying next to you when I go to sleep at night. I’m on the phone with you 23/7 because I love talking to you and simply being in your presence even if it’s over the phone.As we have reached month 4, I want you to know that I’m serious about this relationship and I love you more than words can express. I pray for you and your brothers daily. The other day I tossed a coin in a fountain wishing for “growth and happiness in my relationship with my boyfriend Nelson”. You could say I believe in fairytales. I really just use every resource possible to profess my love and desire to grow with you. You’ve been my rock for the last 8 months. I’m literally still sane because you’ve been there for me to run to when I’m overwhelmed. I know it’s hard for you to forget the things I’ve done. I hate a part of myself everyday for the trust that I caused to be broken. I want nothing more than to reach a place in this relationship where the trust is restored and we are united in love. I love you so much. It’s not just something I say. It’s something I mean. Even if past actions didn’t show that, please trust and believe that I go above and beyond to show you my love now. I tried to make this an audio message but failed every time. I hope you read this and are able to feel the love i’ve put into this. I understand that words mean nothing to you. I hope that my actions are showing you the things you need to see from me. To backtrack to last night, I want to clarify what I said. No it’s not to make you feel good. It’s to make it clear what I mean rather than leave uncertainty. A dictator is a person who behaves in an autocratic way.This person also takes no account for the opinions of others. Basically what you say goes. I wouldn’t consider you to fit that category. Yes I live differently based on your request. I still have my own identity and I know that you aren’t a father in my life. I simply want to hear what you say because I know you say it to keep me safe. That’s exactly what I heard you say when speaking to Matthew. It’s what a relationship is about. The habits that I have developed in the last month are natural. I just do it. Not because you ask but because It’s what should be done. I lost my identity for a little while in school, you brought me back to reality. I needed that because some days I’d stand in the mirror and not recognize myself. You keep me grounded. You pick me up when I’m sad. If you haven’t noticed, there’s no ill intention in my heart. Its probably my biggest flaw. It’s what makes me so easily taken advantage of. I don’t look at people and assume they are bad. Yesterday I truly recognized what you meant by that. I’m too weak for this world. I barley navigate it on my own. I’ve survived the last year because i’ve had you by my side. I love you. Deeply. Sometimes i listen to your breathing when you sleep. I ask what hurts to see if i can make it better. You really are my everything. This life is worth living when i’m with you. I pray that we are able to continue to grow. All i want is to see the smile you bring out on occasion. I want you to be happy. I want you to feel loved. As we move towards month 5 I hope that we will develop better communication. When we have disconnects, I want them to be vocally expressed not over text.I want you to be able to speak freely without my tears affecting the way you speak. Growth. In many forms. I pray you’ll even begin to trust me again, leaving no room for the love to be lost. Happy 4 months babe. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. I love you.

Love,
B
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Hi Babe,

I’ve tried on many occasions to figure out how to say what i’ll be saying in this letter. I haven’t slept much and I realize I have so much to say to you. I never imagined that I’d love you the way that I love you now. The worry I cary when I don’t hear from you is the biggest reminder of how much I love you.For the last year, I’ve told myself that I’d do anything for you. I’ve put my heart in your hands hoping that you will love me the same way that I love you. I know that I’ve hurt you. Your pain is rooted in actions that I can’t go back and undo. You said that everyday you wake up and make the choice to be with me. I appreciate you for continuing to choose me. I’ve given you many apologies. Some of which I hope you truly heard and understood. As your girlfriend I’ve failed to uphold the standard. Since May, I’ve truly pushed myself to maintain the boundaries that you set.I apologize for all the tears you’ve seen me cry as I realize they make you feel like you can’t share your thoughts with me. I want this relationship to be a safe space for conversation. I want you to be able to recognize when my tears are coming from being overwhelmed or just because I can’t vocalize my emotions. It’s not fair that you are constantly on the receiving end of my battle. I will no longer put you in that position and I’m sorry for ever doing that.You are the greatest source of my happiness. I hate going home knowing I won’t be laying next to you when I go to sleep at night. I’m on the phone with you 23/7 because I love talking to you and simply being in your presence even if it’s over the phone.As we have reached month 4, I want you to know that I’m serious about this relationship and I love you more than words can express. I pray for you and your brothers daily. The other day I tossed a coin in a fountain wishing for “growth and happiness in my relationship with my boyfriend Nelson”. You could say I believe in fairytales. I really just use every resource possible to profess my love and desire to grow with you. You’ve been my rock for the last 8 months. I’m literally still sane because you’ve been there for me to run to when I’m overwhelmed. I know it’s hard for you to forget the things I’ve done. I hate a part of myself everyday for the trust that I caused to be broken. I want nothing more than to reach a place in this relationship where the trust is restored and we are united in love. I love you so much. It’s not just something I say. It’s something I mean. Even if past actions didn’t show that, please trust and believe that I go above and beyond to show you my love now. I tried to make this an audio message but failed every time. I hope you read this and are able to feel the love i’ve put into this. I understand that words mean nothing to you. I hope that my actions are showing you the things you need to see from me. To backtrack to last night, I want to clarify what I said. No it’s not to make you feel good. It’s to make it clear what I mean rather than leave uncertainty. A dictator is a person who behaves in an autocratic way.This person also takes no account for the opinions of others. Basically what you say goes. I wouldn’t consider you to fit that category. Yes I live differently based on your request. I still have my own identity and I know that you aren’t a father in my life. I simply want to hear what you say because I know you say it to keep me safe. That’s exactly what I heard you say when speaking to Matthew. It’s what a relationship is about. The habits that I have developed in the last month are natural. I just do it. Not because you ask but because It’s what should be done. I lost my identity for a little while in school, you brought me back to reality. I needed that because some days I’d stand in the mirror and not recognize myself. You keep me grounded. You pick me up when I’m sad. If you haven’t noticed, there’s no ill intention in my heart. Its probably my biggest flaw. It’s what makes me so easily taken advantage of. I don’t look at people and assume they are bad. Yesterday I truly recognized what you meant by that. I’m too weak for this world. I barley navigate it on my own. I’ve survived the last year because i’ve had you by my side. I love you. Deeply. Sometimes i listen to your breathing when you sleep. I ask what hurts to see if i can make it better. You really are my everything. This life is worth living when i’m with you. I pray that we are able to continue to grow. All i want is to see the smile you bring out on occasion. I want you to be happy. I want you to feel loved. As we move towards month 5 I hope that we will develop better communication. When we have disconnects, I want them to be vocally expressed not over text.I want you to be able to speak freely without my tears affecting the way you speak. Growth. In many forms. I pray you’ll even begin to trust me again, leaving no room for the love to be lost. Happy 4 months babe. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. I love you.

Love,
B
<img src="https://vintageletter.co/Uploads/9c455b5f-36b0-4cac-8228-f9370ff19a02/sepia.jpg" title="" style="border:double 0px #70553a;width:100%">

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