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Hälsning, Herre Äustin, And warmest greetings in anticipation of a glorious Midfarmmer celebration. ?As is the tradition of our people, like our forefathers before us— thy bachelorhood shall be stuffed into the disemboweled remains of a brown bear and left to burn in the woods of somewhere near the village of “Ramona” Much like gender reveal parties of yore, the smoldering remains of San Diego will reveal to us all a kinder / gentler family man prepared for his next season of life. The celebrations will combine the elements, both land and sea, and eventually blessed by the touch of fire we
shall gather in an ashen circle and echo together as one voice, the forlorn cries of all the single women that did not win thy favor, as in light of the loving bride-to-be, looks on and smiles. Prepare yourself. Ready thy person. Gird your loins. Also, please be sure to grab a set of clothes that you don’t mind getting dirty, preferably white, a swimsuit worthy of your glory and visage. Maybe also some clothes to move in for something that may resemble the ancient art of yoga. And finally be ready to depart after high-noon, Thursday at, approximately 1:30
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