Dearest Keith Mathews:
Hello Keith, I don’t know if you remember me, I am Marcia. Do you remember me from the Nightly Double? That magical night. Let me tell you a little about myself, I was a soc, and my best friend was Sherri Valance. I broke up with my Boyfriend Randy and I have cancer. But anyways, a little birdie told me you weren’t holding up so good. Caught for theft and assault. That’s a shame, I thought you were slicker than that…
The state correctional facility… or the slammer. How did it feel… the fuzz closing in to ya, adrenaline pumping through you like rapid torrents. Your Heart beating like a metronome… The clock was ticking and I bet you knew that. I must admit, you greasers are committed, if something’s taken away, you take it back. So I must ask you... Was all this necessary? All for a stupid flip out knife? You would have made it if someone didn’t rat you out. I know who did... You may be surprised but it was your wife.
Rita Bonnet. That scandal cheated you, she has forsaken the ring you put on her finger. That harlot doesn’t know what she’s doing. You Two-Bit are a truly lovely man, you deserve better. In this letter will possess horrible rumors which I believe is true. Rita, the floozy you call a wife is cheating on you by sleeping with Soda pop. Soda isn’t doing well either. He’s a hermit on the streets, gambling with booze all pickled up. Soda Pop says he’s chasing his dream… I think he’s mad, he says I’m going to find Mickey? But how, he has no chance! He lost his job at the gas station, apparently he drank ‘one too much’ invited friends over and completely trashed the place, party of the decade they said! Worst is that Darryl flipped out on him, Darryl is off his rocker trying to bind your ‘gang’ back together. He hasn’t slept in forever, he’s all alone. The only thing he has to wake up for is putting food on the table for himself. He tries to convince Soda Pop to return to his home but he refuses. That’s all Darryl craves for… Family time. His family is long disbanded, Soda Pop with his head in the clouds and Pony boy in university and both Parents up above. Pony Boy has always been absent minded or Far off, but now he actually is. Oxford University, Washington D.C. so far away. I can relate to Darryl.
Darryl isn’t the only one who feels hollow inside took feel the cold blade of loneliness. My parents are now separated. They had awful falling outs and I should have seen this coming. Why am I so upset? I knew this would happen, I don’t know why? I ask myself this every night I cry myself to sleep, why didn’t you see this comin’? You coulda prevented this! I’m fighting amongst myself… I hate myself and I don’t know why?! I sometimes don’t even know who I am anymore… I’ve lost my path Keith . I say horrible things to myself and I have no control, as if the devil were to whisper it in my ear. I have no one to turn to, my parents are fighting. We are losing money! We don’t have enough money for my medicine anymore and I don’t know how much time I have left. I didn’t even know that life could be this unforgiving, this merciless. I feel like I’m on the side of the mirror Two-Bit. I’m suffering, I’m dying and I’m losing myself. Then you are strangely living the high life. Away from life’s woe and misery, being fed daily, sleeping peacefully and at a content still state of mind.
But I have a portion of our emotional apocalypse. Sherri is the one who’s got it real bad. I remember the vows she took, the smile that lit her face when the priest finished… The sunset’s glow on her petal soft face. I remember all the times she called me about having her baby… I remember being caught in an argument with her and her husband, a storm of hurtful words circling and building for an inevitable explosion… I remember the quick movements her husband made… I remember the crimson blood from her face cascade onto the floor… I remember the barrage of strikes, the vile shade of red the cloth turned as I wiped her face… I remember the court room, and the loud gavel slam like the clash of lightning. I remember the tears falling from her face as the movers took everything she knew, everything she owned, even her pride...I remember her seeing the way people looked at her, her unbelonging, her isolation. She came to me and asked me her purpose on earth…I remember her having nothing to live for… I remember the amount of empty pill bottles in her garbage… I remember her asking for more and more kegs of bourbon… I remember her screams at the midnight stroke… I remember the ambulance of red white and blue dash through the streets to the hospital… I remember the faint silence of the room as Sherri cradled her infant….and I can never forget the face she made she wept for her dead child.
Life is a rigidly bridge sway one way and you will fall. You must stay balanced to get across. Keith, life is bittersweet and it’s so easy to make mistakes, to lose sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. So easy to just give up and be like Dally. But I believe there is a purpose to everything there is a bigger picture in life. That the maker didn’t put you here for no reason. I hadn’t told you this, I love you Keith. I have loved you ever since I laid eyes onto you. I’ve never told you this because I was worried about everything going on back then. The rumble, Pony boy’s mental illness and Johnny and Dally’s death… Two- Bit you are the reason I’ve lasted so long, why I admit defeat to life. I wanted to be like you, not afraid, confident, driven… You are the reason I am still here today… Listen Two-Bit, maybe you love me maybe you don’t. Just know that my clock is ticking. I have no medication, so solution this time… My dying wish is to be with you… I will meet you half way. I’ll get the money somehow... We could go away by ourselves. To Windrixville, you will be free and we can spend the rest of our days together…Think about it…
Love always, Marcia
http://youtu.be/-2U0Ivkn2Ds